Well, things are about to get interesting in the Middle East. I am no friend of Hamas. I think they are a bunch of religious whack-jobs who relish the idea of murdering the sub-human Jews. I am also wary of Israel. I think they are a bunch of religious (but slightly more secular) whack-jobs who relish the idea of murdering the sub-human Muslims. I am aware that neither side is as evil as my pat description, but neither side is the innocent victim both claim to be.
I know what you are thinking, you imaginary audience, you are saying to yourself: "Finally, someone who understands this entire Middle East thing. We should convince this wise man to put an end to this conflict. Man, I want waffles."
I hate to crush your fragile dreams, but I don't have any waffles.
I just want to clarify that the butt of the joke here is my dumb ass. Also, I still don't have any waffles.